Our Blessed 12 Years Together

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

12 years ago, I signed a lifetime contract with this man that I fell madly in love with in just months of knowing each other. I have no idea what marriage will be like back then. I thought it will all be fun and game, just an extension of our dating years. Little did I know, life did not turn out as the romance movie did. It was not all hearts, kisses and romantic trips. The end is not when the guy gets the girl and they live happily ever after. In this life, the story continues and that is when the real life begins.

When they say that the hardest part of a marriage is in its 5th, 10th or so years. Not ours. I say the hardest part of our marriage is in our first years. We have a lot of adjustments to do. I got pregnant and have our first child within a year, then another one follows in the next two years. We struggled with our new roles and responsibilities. We've gone through a lot of lifestyle changes, to fit our new roles and situations. Little that anyone knows those years were also the years we have struggled financially as a family. It was really a stressed time for the both of us, but I am those who believe that hardship was not something to complain or talked about to anyone. So nobody except us knows the struggles we've gone through. But we still manage to live our lives happily with what we had. Looking back, despite the financial struggle we had, those times were actually one of the best times of our life. As we make ends meet, we make the most of everything and enjoy whatever we've got.

As our life got better in time, then came other responsibilities. Our aging parents. I believe that God is fair and that he will never give us the challenges that we could not take. As both of us are the eldest in the family, the responsibilities fall upon us the most. We are in the leads to take care of each others family. Our dedication to each other is tested beyond our little family. Sacrifices are made, another round of accepting and adjustments were done. A lot of lessons was learned, yet from the struggles that come our way. I learn the real meaning of 'ikhlas' and saw how when we are in that states, things evolve into something that is truly beyond our imagination, and of course for the better. I saw that when we surrender and do everything with sincerity, the path becomes easier and easier.

Nevertheless, we got through it all together and survive without any damages to our relationship. If I may even say, those years were what makes us grow closer to each other and stronger as a team. I believe that those challenges are the ones that make us respect and trust each other even more.

As a couple, we learn a lot through our hardship. We learn that with sincerity, faith, gratitude, and humor we can get through any hardship that comes our way. We learn that with acceptance and forgiveness, our path to happiness will always be open for us.

Growing up, I have been thought that love diminished over time, respect is gone because of disappointments and loss of trust. I have seen too many examples of a marriage gone bad over time around me. I never knew that love could get stronger in time despites of hardship and struggles. But now I know better. As I have gone through some of it and came out with a different result.

12 years have gone by, I know it is still a small number compares to what our parents or others have gone through. I know this is not the end of our challenges, as we will have a lot more to come. Our kids are still growing up and we still have a long way to go. As a human being, we too are still far from perfect. We both still have a lot to learn. I pray to God that I will always have him beside me when those challenges come our way. I pray that we will remain strong as a team, just like before. I am beyond grateful for all the challenges and hardship that we've encountered together, as those are what bond us together and prepare us for what the future may hold.

Papap, Thank you for being the strong pillar that I can hold on to throughout these tough years. Thank you for loving me when I am not most lovable. Thank you for accepting me with all my flaws and shortcomings. Thank you for seeing the best in me, when sometimes I can not see it myself.

Happy 12th Anniversary Love, let's do this lifetime together!

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